, Just In Case ( and shout out to cool tapestries)

1 year ago

Just In Case ( and shout out to cool tapestries)

So I’ve decided that too many things in my life are erroneous. I really like that word…I hope you do as well. Anyway, I walked into my Philosophy class yesterday after having fallen asleep in my 8 AM philosophy class and I sat down, realized I did not do the reading that we were going to discuss, felt pretty useless, got up and left. I thought to myself, “this is kinda weird how many times I’ve done this..go to class because it’s “the right thing to do” yet I am not prepared at all…so I sit like a drone for 50 minutes and pray to God that the professor does not call on me to discuss something. This is the WORST AND MOST AWFUL thing one can do in college. I’m sure everybody is guilty of it..but I take it to heart that I am wasting my time as well as somebody elses. With this pledge, I guarantee next week I will be prepared to sit there and do my part, no matter how much I break my vow of not drinking coffee.

This is off topic of what I really want to discuss.

So, as I left class, I thought to myself..if I were truly invested in my college career, I would not be so unprepared for my classes. I would be studying and trying and trying to become the next big writer or philosopher or therapist or cake decorator, etc. What happens when I try to sit and study is that I end up painting a pair of shoes, or going to a thrift store and buying knick knacks to turn them into knack knicks and such. I came up with the conclusion that this is not the right time for me to be in school. I need to figure out what I want to do with my life (at the moment at least) and come back and truly invest myself in whatever it is I am meant to do to change whatever impact I am meant to change in my surroundings.

As a precursor to the this next paragraph, I will say that this is personal and this is solely my own idea of my world that I live in, which is only me. Everybody else that is in it is based on my perception. Don’t take me seriously because what is truly beautiful about a diverse world is NOBODY SEES THE SAME WORLD. So, this is what my world consists of right now.We live in a “Just in Case” culture. This might sound sort of “emo,” but these are my thoughts: I go to school and drone out in class just in case I need to sell myself out one day. I buy 2 loaves of bread because they are on sale just in case I run out or decide to eat a 12 loaf sandwich for lunch. I wear shoes just in case the ground has some glass on it. I blame external things just in case I realize my problems are actually internal (which is one I’ve definitely been fixing). I wear makeup and bras just in case I have some sort of blemish of such. I take all these medications just in case I get sick. These all lack meaning to my philosophy of being “in the now”. You may read this, scoff, and say “these are JUST precautions. We do these things to be safe; to preserve life.” I feel like these things can be done in that way, but for me personally, many of these things are hindering my pure water. Sitting in classes droning out is inhibiting my creative freedom and love of moving around. Stocking up on groceries leads to waste ( in my house at least) Worrying about makeup and bras and clothing is too much wasted time and effort. Being on medications I didn’t actually need lead to damaged time spent withdrawing. Time is all we have. I recently read somewhere that if you wake up each morning truly happy to be where you are and so THANKFUL for the life you lead and that this dream world is surrounding you once again for another miraculous day, you are living the perfect life for you.

Everybody sees the world from their own eyes. That tiny pinpoint of light that is allowed to enter your pupils controls what you actually see. This miracle can lead to such bliss, it’s incredible. My life is beautiful and I am so thankful for it..but that does not mean by any degree, that it does not need some fine tuning..at least in the sense of listening to a different tune and letting it carry me away..
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Just In Case ( and shout out to cool tapestries)

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